


Like Liking An Empath

by L_C_Weary



Category: The Bright Sessions (Podcast)
Genre: Adam's POV, Confessions, During Episode 15, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 07:05:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16113326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_C_Weary/pseuds/L_C_Weary
Summary: The phone conversation of episode 15 from Adam's point of view.





	Like Liking An Empath

**Author's Note:**

> So, in the last couple of weeks I have fell into podcast hell. I'm having the time of my life. I'm only at episode 20, so it might be a bit inaccurate, character wise. Small, little thing, please enjoy.
> 
> (Also, it features word-to-word conversation from the podcast, which I definitely don't claim as mine.)
> 
> Not first language. No beta. You can figure the rest.

Adam was struggling with his math homework. The struggle mostly came from the inability to focus at the moment. He had trouble concentration, as his consciousness was occupied by one stupid jock. And his potential superhuman talents.

Truth to be told the whole deal was confusing as shit. Adam was trying not to believe Caleb and his claims about being an empath, but in all honesty it made sense. Logically, Caleb's extreme reactions to random situation could've been triggered by other's mood. Logically, it made sense, because Caleb knew when to talk to Adam with a different tone when he was feeling down, even though he tried to hide it.

That was infuriating a bit. He knew it was egoistic and childish to feel like he was a hamster in the experiment, because if it was true everyone was an open book to Caleb but he still felt vulnerable and betrayed.

It would probably alright. He just needed time to get over his crush on Caleb Michaels and it would fix things, he hoped. Like, he kinda, almost told Caleb he wasn't straight so he couldn't pretend he didn't get it. So, it was not the end. Most likely not. They went to the same school, they were in the same class, so ignoring each other was not going to work and he knew Caleb was just as frustrated - quite inadequately - so they were not going to let that just go.

And at some level it felt nice that Caleb cared enough to tell it to him. He wanted to share it with him. If Caleb wasn't bluffing. Last afternoon he seemed quite nervous and genuinely worried, which suggested it was a big deal for him too and not just a weird prank he tried to pull off.

Adam, last night, upon calming himself and his racing heart - that was overworked due to running home and being exposed to a particular jock – and after he stopped shaming himself for wanting to listen to My Chemical Romance again, did his research.

On the Internet he mostly found bullshit, but later when he asked his parents for great sites to browse for psychological dissertation he even got his mother's code to a prestigious online site and its data base.

He found a few somethings. Dissertations about traits that were borderline supernatural, notes of group experiments and a few pieces of video evidence of individual sessions.

So, he had to give to Caleb. He was most likely honest. He was actually an empath. It shouldn't feel that surprising. It was something actually believable superpower to have and it explained a few things Adam found weird about him even before getting to know the jock. 

Caleb's anger always peaked when others were obviously nervous, he seemed to have problems to be in places where teenage drama was in the air and he was generally a moody guy. Adam was excited for that part. The scientific background, the whys and hows, the whole thing. And he was happy. They were real friends and Caleb trusted him enough to tell him and wanted to tell him.

Caleb just didn't think Adam's feelings were important enough not to make him feel shitty about himself. Because he had known for long, how Adam felt and just... Gave no shit.

Which, on one hand was fine. Caleb didn't have to like him, he probably wasn't even into guys. Adam could live with being rejected like that. He had crushes before, crushes that ended badly or just ended without any real closure.

But Caleb knew and thought it was alright to leave it just like that. To leave him hanging or something. Not caring enough not to make Adam feel embarrassed by every stupid thought he had. He should've just said something.

Send some clear messages, like commenting on pretty girls, or upon Adam's very graceful Tom Hardy come out joke like, "if you say so" that would've made it clear it was alright, but not his style.

Or maybe he made it clear it was just Adam’s stupid mind that made it seem like Caleb was staring back at him at moments, or found it almost comforting when they set too close on a small bench not to fall off. Or maybe to Caleb those were just stuff friends did, just guys being dudes or whatever.

But then again, he could've said something.

Adam knew he was just working himself up now, but it did hurt. It just left him uneasy. He just wanted to brace himself for the worse. Which was probably Caleb pretending like he had no idea or no desire to acknowledge what that meant.

In which case, fuck him. Adam was not that desperate. He could survive rejection. Real rejection would have been better not an asshole-ish one, but he could work with that too, if this is how things were going to be.

Adam’s phone suddenly started buzzing on the table and he unconsciously reached for it, before thinking it through. It was almost a pleasant surprise that Caleb wrote him, but not after last night’s highly arrogant message.

_i’m sorry that i upset you yesterday but you need to know that i like your feelings. all of them. so you shouldn’t feel weird or anything about the fact that i can feel them. because it doesn’t have to be weird._

Yep, Caleb definitely knew. It made his mouth taste even sourer. Was Caleb pretending those feelings or thoughts weren't there in Adam's mind?

_how is it not weird? it’s so weird. and humiliating_

Caleb couldn’t be _that_ ignorant. He must’ve had crushes before, or read about them or something. It was not world changing, just embarrassing, but embarrassing a great deal.

_what do you have to be humiliated about?_

Oh, well, fuck Caleb. This was now borderline ridiculous.

_come on, you must know by now. if you can really feel everything i feel, then you must know. no point beating around the bush about it._

Denying wouldn't help his case and he was not going to pretend he didn't have those feelings, once it was clear Caleb  _felt_ them, or whatever. Last afternoon left his ego wounded, but his pride was not going to be taken away from him. Yeah, he liked Caleb and if they were not reciprocated he was going to live with that. So, Caleb had to live with the fact those feelings happened or he could go fuck himself.

_to be totally honest, i wasn’t sure. sometimes things get really muddled and it was easy to confuse that with my own feelings_

His own feelings what? He had a crush on someone too? He was in love with himself? What the fuck? Adam tapped the dial button without thinking it over. Caleb answered fairly late.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” It was harsh and Adam didn’t have the heart to feel bad about it too much.

“What do you mean?” Caleb sounded nervous. Definitely a good sign.

“What feelings would you have to be confused about?”

"Well, like," Caleb's struggle for the right words was almost physically painful. "When I’m feeling something and another person is feeling the same thing, I can’t tell what’s coming from them and what’s coming from them."

"Caleb, I swear to god, if you don’t start making sense in the next 10 seconds-"

"I like you too, okay?" Caleb said and even though he was talking and Adam was paying attention, Adam's heart already shrunk to the size of a pebble stone before blowing up and painting his vision in colors he found beautiful. Green, for example.

**Author's Note:**

> (Find me on [tumblr](http://answermywearyquery.tumblr.com/).)


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